Writings of a madman who lived through a thousand deaths. Also about taking things just as seriously as they deserve.
Mind you, this is not a post. It's a meta-post, an index to the story of my grievously curious life with generalised anxiety and major depressive disorder. This lightly commented table of contents may be useful for those who want to read the story end to end. But feel free to do whatever you like … Continue reading Dancing on the Graves of Me and Mine
If you've read pretty much anything in these series, you know I haven't been quite right in the head since at least late 2017. Then again, it hasn't been getting worse lately. Yes, like I described here and there, 2019 didn't start off great. But the frequency and intensity of my generalised anxiety and major … Continue reading How I Didn’t Beat the Madness
As the year of 2018 was nearing its end, I wasn't in the best shape. My best friend and much cherished colleague had left the country for another job, and the research project we'd been shaping together to near-perfection over the past six years was crumbling. I desperately looked forward to a week of pleasantly … Continue reading How I Didn’t Break the Neck of My Daughter
There were times in 2018 when I was quite okay. It wasn't as intense as the first surprise attack of normalcy back in December 2017, but it felt pretty awesome all the same. On especially cheerful days I was even thinking my mental afflictions were gone. Which was yet another delusion my brain contrived for … Continue reading How My Son Didn’t Die of Several Wildly Improbable Illnesses
Remember my wife telling me she's pregnant back in November, 2017? The more or less inevitable conclusion of that physiologic process was due one summer day of 2018. While we were getting ready for the new arrival, my sick mind was putting on a bit of a freak show. But that was only to be … Continue reading How My Wife Didn’t Die in Labour
All right, one might call the title a click-bait. Then again, this is going to be about sharks to some extent, and I really did not get eaten by them. Now, let's get to the story itself. After I revealed a terrible secret to my wife and hurt her real bad in the process, she … Continue reading How I Didn’t Get Eaten by Sharks
When the mad year of 2017 flipped into another one, I was pretty sure I knew the names of the afflictions that'd been giving me such a curiously hard time. For those who haven't read the other stories here, those names are generalised anxiety and major depressive disorder. Knowing what bothered me helped a lot. … Continue reading How I Made My Wife Cry Again
One would have thought the whole year of 2017 was pretty strange through the lenses of my damaged mind. I was dying of many rather unpleasant afflictions, be them acute or chronic. I also had the most intriguing experience of getting caught up in a number of fatal accidents. And when that onslaught of deaths … Continue reading How the Strangest Thing Happened to Me
It happened when the mad year of 2017 was nearing its end. To be more specific, it was November, a month called "listopad" in my mother tongue. It means "falling leaves" in English, which is a very fitting backdrop to this sore memory. I don't know anymore where we were coming from, and it's not that … Continue reading How I Made My Wife Cry
Just in case anyone missed me during the past six or seven weeks, I was busy. First with summer holidays, then with a massive work combo of September deadlines. I also finished a novel, as someone with extremely keen inference capabilities might have guessed from the feature image already. Although finished is perhaps a bit … Continue reading Back on Track
Oceanic Soup 