Hey, I’d called myself Ronan Hayes here and in other places, but that didn’t seem too healthy. Let’s use the real name, Vít, or perhaps the less formal Víťa. It sounds quite like veetya. Only this particular English transcription somehow doesn’t look right. Also, it’s way too likely to be associated with a rather misleading brand name. How about viitya then?

I hear no objections, so viitya it is. It’s a Czech name. That’s because I’m Czech, by birth and the first twenty six years of my life. But I’m also Irish, by residence and a piece of paper. Not that names and nationalities would be that important. They’re just labels for all I care, free to mix and match.

So what I really am? Lots of things. Sheepish earthling, sinking swimmer, dejected scientist, struggling partner, fearful father… and a dubious writer, which is probably most relevant to this place.

I write primarily to stop things bothering me. Which is obviously just another type of bother, but one I’m getting used to. On particularly delusional days, writing even seems to make me happy.

All right, enough about me. Your turn. Do you like jokes that are perhaps a little ill-conceived? Are you obsessed with matters of death and life? And how about the universe that probably doesn’t give a shit? Still interested? Then get back and read on. You’ve been warned.

Oh, one last thing before you go. If you want to get in touch, use the comments here. And then there’s also Twitter if you care.